He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
