I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
