You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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