WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
