It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
