I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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