i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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