If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
