My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When are your genitals available?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
