And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
