I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
