how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
