i permit you to call me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
