You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
