Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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