I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
