he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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