I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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