I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
