we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
birth control should be required to get into college
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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