Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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