when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wear drunk well.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
