Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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