my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
