i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
