How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
