Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
