chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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