Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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