dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
