People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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