Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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