apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
