Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
