SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
