So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
