when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
