i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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