I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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