a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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