I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you would pick up someone in the library
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
