i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
