There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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