my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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