Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
