the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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