We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
