would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you never un-have a 4some
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
