It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
