boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
