i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
