She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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