I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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