I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
