Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
