i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
